BREXIT - 100W Light Bulbs Back On Sale Following Leave Vote

Saturday 25th June, 2016
Really? You think it's that easy that you put an X in a box and you can turn over decades of environmental policy?

From Twitter:

Clearly you weren't alone. But those light bulbs weren't banned because of the EU - they were banned because better alternatives are available and the only way to get people to switch was to cut off supply of the old ones. Sure the powers that be blamed the EU, but they would have done it anyway.

The EU has been blamed for many things over time - the loss of gallons, pounds & ounces and more serious things like immigration and the break down of the NHS. It's been the ultimate scapegoat and it's no wonder people learned to hate it.

I'm quite sure a large proportion of leave voters didn't actually want to leave, but they figured it was the best time to register their protest as the UK has changed and they preferred it the old way.

I guess the final outcome should have been no surprise from a nation that didn't learn how to vote in school, but from shows like the X-Factor.
I'm reminded of that series where everybody voted for Wagner - not because he could sing - at all - but because they thought it would be fun.


The end result was their favourite singers ending up in the bottom two and even Wagner shocked that one of them was going home instead of he.
Well folks, this is a real democracy. Simon isn't there with a golden ticket to save the better act and you don't get to vote again next week.

Now we're stuck with Wagner as our next leader, good luck to us all.

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What’s wrong with Hydrogen cars?

Wednesday 21st October, 2015
In a big push for attention, dragging in the likes of Boris Johnson, Toyota has embarked upon the launch of the new Mirai - a car powered by water.

Well, not quite, hydrogen can indeed be extracted from water - the split "H2O" compound being broken down into its constituent elements of hydrogen and oxygen, by electrolysis of a salty water solution - essentially sea water. So we take sea water, bubble the hydrogen out of it and then use it to fuel the car. In the car's "engine", actually a complex fuel cell, the hydrogen is reacted with oxygen in the air to re-form water whilst generating electricity. The resulting exhaust is literally just running water, which drips out of the exhaust pipe. Technically so clean you could drink it.

So, science bit done, where is the catch? There is always a twist in these new eco cars, so where is the sting in the tail for the Mirai?

It makes sense at this point to draw a comparison to "all electric" cars like the Nissan LEAF. I've been a big critic of this one in the past and little has changed to alter that viewpoint.

Continue Reading "What's wrong with Hydrogen cars?" »

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Why Amazon Prime is a waste of time...and money!

Friday 3rd April, 2015
Like pretty much everybody, I've been an Amazon customer for many years. Amongst bad headlines about tax evasions, zero hours contracts and poor working conditions; I've stuck with Amazon UK as, ultimately, they deliver good pricing and service.


So far in 2015 I've made no less than 26 orders from Amazon UK. It doesn't take Isaac Newton to work out that this is about 2 orders each week. For customers like me there are convenient options like Amazon Prime which provide a "free next day delivery" option.

Except they don't. It's often not next day at all and, on top of that, it isn't free.
Examine the image above which shows the two current cheapest price options for the Samsung Galaxy S5 handset. You will certainly see that with the Prime option you get delivery inclusive, but look at the price.

You would currently pay £79 for the Prime service, providing the privilege of "free" Prime delivery. Yet, in this case, the Prime eligible stock costs around £20 more than the non-Prime alternative. On this order I can save around 5% on the price by not ordering a Prime item.

But isn't this entirely obvious to Prime customers? Can they not see that the non-Prime options are cheaper? Well, no, not that easily.

Prior to becoming a Prime member, you'll be used to Amazon taking you to the cheapest price for your desired item. After joining, however, Amazon carefully insert the cheapest Prime option, ignoring all the others. As you'll see from the screenshot above, the cheaper prices are carefully tucked away below, under the colour options. In this case, the Prime price option comes up at a cost that is 24% more than the alternative.

All this extra for "free" delivery. Needless to say that the £65 saving on the non-Prime alternative will pay for its £4.18 delivery charge many times over.
This Easter, my wife and I decided to have a new mobile phone each, instead of an Easter egg - ok, we had both, please don't tell Weight Watchers. I shopped around for pricing and Amazon came up the best option, as a Prime member why wouldn't they? In this instance, my two Samsung Galaxy S5 handsets, ordered on Monday, would have a "guaranteed" delivery date 31st March 2015 - Tuesday...aka next day. That's why we pay for Prime.
On Tuesday lunchtime, all excited, I got a notification that my order had been delivered to the pick-up point. However, on the way home, I discovered that my order had been split. All they had shipped was the phone cases I'd added to the order. Cases for phones that hadn't arrived.

Meanwhile we'd arranged 4G tariffs from our phone providers and new nano SIM cards to put into the handsets. Except the handsets didn't arrive as guaranteed on Tuesday. They didn't arrive on Wednesday, or Thursday too. It's now Good Friday and @AmazonHelp (a total misnomer) has stopped responding to my messages. My "eggs" haven't arrived and all I've got to wrap up for my wife is a case for a phone she doesn't own.

Thanks for nothing Amazon. Needless to say that the 26 orders I have made so far this year will hopefully be my last.

Update - 11:43

Christine from the "Amazon Social Media team" tells me that my package was "lost in transit" and, despite all suppliers concerned currently having the items in stock, they are "unable to process a replacement". She ends the note with a customer friendly:

"We won't be able to provide further assistance for your request"

That's what you pay £79 per year for folks.

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I Don’t Always Moan

Wednesday 19th March, 2014
If you follow me on Twitter, Facebook or similar online media, you'll know I have a tendency to complain when things don't go how they should. I work damn hard to deliver a good service to my customers and don't feel it's too much to ask for those around me to do the same.

Back in 2011, in a bit of a reversal, I wrote a blog entry "Can Anybody Get It Right?"  in honour of those companies that DID manage to live up to my standards. I don't think those requirements are particularly high, I just expect things to work as they should. If Amazon Prime says they will provide next day delivery, I expect my product to day. Often it doesn't, which is why I constantly rant about them. The same applies for South West Trains, who constantly arrive at my required destination well beyond the scheduled time.

So, almost three years on, is anybody still floating my boat? Are there any newcomers to my band of heroes?

Well, here's my list of honours...


What? Again?

Yes, they're here again. Despite customers numbers being way up, and being far busier than they would have been in 2011, Ocado still never fail to deliver. We even trust them to bring our food products on Christmas Eve with no backup in place.

The product range keeps getting bigger and now, instead of being fully dependent on Waitrose goods, many products now arrive as Ocado own brand. The quality is just as good, it's just a little cheaper.  Talking of cheaper, a Tesco price match is in place for branded goods. If there is a better deal on Coke or coffee at Tesco, the Ocado checkout will match it for us.

The price of deliveries may have gone up a little over time but, in reality, no doubt the cost of providing the service has too. They come, on time, whether it's bright sunshine or snow outside - even equipping their fleet with winter tyres so they don't let people down. In a recent example, the Ocado delivery truck got a puncture on the way to my mother-in-law's house. Instead of failing to deliver, the driver carried all the bags about a quarter of a mile down the road to her home. Then, on his return, transferred the rest of his deliveries to a backup van that had arrived to prevent any interruption to service.

In my last article I said I how I had recommended Ocado to all my family and friends. Now they have and they all use them.

Honda UK
Like my dad and his dad, when I bought my first lawn mower I bought a Flymo. It worked. It didn't cut particularly well, but it worked. It didn't pick the grass up very well, but it worked. The cable wasn't very long and needed an extension, but it worked.

In fact, it worked for far too long. Over 10 years I carted that damn hover mower around and I never took any satisfaction from it. One day I even ran over and cut through the cable. I prayed it was dead, but still it survived.

In the end, enough was enough. It would still cut grass, but it was never very good at it. I had a nice new home with a nice new garden and wanted something that would do a proper job. This meant a petrol mower and enter Honda UK.

The Honda Izy range is entry level when it comes to petrol mowers, but that doesn't mean it's cheap and nasty. Gone are the days of mixing petrol and 2-stroke oil, modern Honda mowers come with proper 4-stroke engines. You simply fill it with normal unleaded, the same as you use for your car, and pull the string. Once. None of this pull, pull, pull nonsense. You just pull the string and it starts up...first time.

We're now in the middle of March and last weekend I mowed the lawn for the first time this year. The mower had been sat stationary in the shed since the end of October; a good five months. I pulled the mower out, filled her with fuel (they recommend you run it dry before storage) and pulled the cord. She fired straight up.

I call her "she" because I love her. She just works and she cuts my lawn beautifully. She cuts closer than my old mower and she picks up all of the bits. She doesn't blow the bits into the flower beds. She doesn't blow grit into my eye. She just works. I can get her out of the shed, start her up, mow the lawn and put her back again in a quicker time than it took me to get the Flymo out and play the "extension cable through the kitchen window" game with my wife.

I'd once though of petrol mowers as heavy and unreliable, but now I realise they are more convenient and a great investment. In fact, I got into power tools so much that I've even expanded into the Honda Versatool range that provides me with strimmer, hedge trimmer and chainsaw/pruner all using one petrol power unit. Like the mower, it just works and I'm now taking summer bookings from family and friends to prune their trees.

Barbecoa Butchers
A bit of a local recommendation but, if you're ever in the City of London, go down to St. Paul's and drop into Barbecoa Butchers.

A collaboration between chef Jamie Oliver and pig farmer Adam Perry Lang, this butchers sells quite simply the best pork I have ever tasted anywhere in the world. If you like pork chops, bacon or a bit of tenderloin fillet, I cannot recommend it enough.

Lean, full of flavour and great value, Barbecoa has become my only source of pork products for the household. The staff are outstanding too, chopping and trimming meat to your exact specification. I recently went in for a specific amount of tenderloin pork fillet and they butcher weighed every piece they had on the counter to find they were all a bit too small. Not wanting to give me two bits from two different animals, he walked straight into the glass door fridge and I watched as he cut me one straight out of a whole pig that was hanging in there.

How many butchers that you know would cut into a whole new animal just to give you a piece of the right size? Now I'll tell you that this was 5.30pm on a Friday night. This is a premier league butchers in a world of non-league players.

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Having a baby? Catching a train? Read on...

Wednesday 27th November, 2013
Hello mum to be, I'm Ben and I'm a father of two.

During her first pregnancy, my wife got the train each day to and from work and I learned that it was a difficult game. At some stages you won't look pregnant but you'll feel sick. Other times you'll feel really tired and need a sit down. You may feel fluid building up on your feet and your shoes won't fit properly. Finally you'll get big and heavy and you'll be struggling to carry a load of gifts that your colleagues bought you on your last day in the office.

If you're one of these people, this advice is for you. Take it or leave it but hopefully it may help a few readers along the way.

Part One - How confident are you?

You're in a department store and your baby has just filled his nappy. Are you comfortable approaching a shop assistant and asking where their changing facilities are? Or will you wait until you get home?

You've just popped to town for a couple of hours and your baby has filled her nappy for the THIRD time. You used the last spare nappy in your bag during the last change. Will you stop a random parent in the shopping mall and ask if she has a spare nappy you can have? Or will you let your child sit in the dirty one until you get home?

Being a parent takes confidence. You often need help from random strangers. They'll rarely feel comfortable enough to offer, but be more than willing if you ask for help. It's something you learn, quickly. My wife was often too nervous even to call and order take away food, now she's sharing packs of baby wipes with complete strangers in Costa Coffee.

You're on a train and you need a seat, but they're all taken. Other commuters can't guess you are pregnant. They genuinely may not have seen your "Baby on Board" badge. They may not even hear you if you ask. What will you do?

The other day I was watching a TV show with my headphones on. A lady tapped me on the shoulder. I pulled my headphone off and she asked:

"I'm pregnant, can I have your seat?".

"No problem, you're going to make a great mum".

Why? Because she's confident. Because she's not afraid to approach random strangers and ask them for help. She'll go a a long way.

Part Two - Do you like filling in forms?

Does anybody like paperwork? Actually, my wife seems to love filling in forms. Names, addresses, dates of birth. You've got a lot of that to come. You'll need to do birth certificates, registration at your local doctors, applications for child benefit etc.

But there's a form you can fill in right now. It's on the South West Trains website. You won't find it by accident. Search the site for "pregnant", it's not there. Search the FAQ, it's not there. But somewhere, hidden within the 'Travelling with us' section you will find the magical "Mums To Be First Class Upgrade" section.

Making journeys to work a little easier for expectant mothers. Expectant mothers who hold a weekly, monthly or longer season ticket can apply for a First Class Upgrade which allows you to sit in First Class when there are no Standard Class seats available.

To apply, you will need your MATB1 form which is given to you by your doctor or midwife no more than 20 weeks before your due date. To be eligible for the Mums-to-be upgrade pass, please complete our Mums-to-be application form and enclose a copy of your MATB1 and current season ticket.

Here is a direct link to the form in case you need it.

First Class is the carriage near the toilets. Handy for when you need to throw up or have an emergency wee when baby pushes on your bladder. It's yours, for no additional charge. You just need to fill out a form, a skill you need to develop. Do this and, even if you aren't confident, you can get a seat.

Part Three - The alternative.

I arrive at Waterloo twenty minutes before my train is due to depart. I'm the first on on board the train. I take the seat of my choice, take off my coat, put my items in the overhead rack and make myself comfortable.

You arrive 2 minutes before the train is due to depart feeling fat, uncomfortable and out of breath. The train is mostly full with standing room only, but you insist on taking the carriage closest to the exit barrier at your destination station. You cram your way on and, seeing your pregnant, other standing passengers allow you to move away from the door to a more comfortable location. Perhaps towards the seats.

Most of the seated people don't see you. Those that do will intentionally ignore you. They arrived in plenty of time for the train and maybe, just like me, they made a conscious decision not to get an earlier service as no seats had been available. They aren't going to give up their seat for anybody, they made a concerted effort to get it. If you need a seat, there is one back on the platform and the next train, which is still half empty, leaves in ten minutes.

If you really need a seat, you will ask. You won't just stand and glare at people. You won't just get angry as people, who arrived in plenty of time, don't fall over backwards to offer you their seat.

First class is over there, you could be in it. Did you fill out the form? Oh, it's still in your bag as you haven't got any stamps yet?

You see, I'm not allowed in first class. I'm not pregnant. If I was, I'd fill out a form and have a nice cosy seat on the way home. Just because you didn't it's now my problem? There are empty seats in first class, one of which you could be in, but now you want mine? Not a chance.

There is a pregnant lady on the train pretty much every day. Should I yield every day and give up my seat? Why should I give it up one day but not the next? How can I choose one mother over another? Surely either I always do or I always don't? But you don't even need to be here, you could be in first class. You could spare me this dilemma. You could get the next service that is four platforms away and leaves just 12 minutes later. But getting this train was more important than getting a seat? Fair enough, in that case it's not my problem and you can stand.

This is the harsh reality of being pregnant on a train and why, despite spending 6 months picking my wife up from a station as she was too tired to walk home, I rarely give up my seat on a train. If you'd like a seat though, do feel free to tap me on the shoulder - I'd be delighted to oblige.

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Excuse me, why do you bring your bike on the train?

Wednesday 11th September, 2013
Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that I have a pet hate of cyclists. They used to get in my way on the roads, constantly breaking the Highway Code. They often try to run myself and my family down on local pavements. Most recently, they're always on the train at peak times, blocking emergency exits, when they aren't even allowed to be there.

I constantly moan at the SW Trains twitter team that this is a ridiculous situation. They aren't allowed but nobody stops them. Platform dispatch crews leave it to the guards and the guards don't care at all. In fact, guards who aren't commercial (ticket checking) rarely even care to walk through the train during a journey. I asked the head of guards for SW Trains in a recent passenger forum and he explained that guards are keen to avoid confrontation. Even at off peak times, cycles should be in the designated area and secured using the provided strap. This is for the safety of other passengers, but clearly guards care more for their own safety than for that of their paying passengers. For reference, I'm basing this on my experience of over 1,000 SW Trains journeys in the past year.

But why do cyclists do it? They know it's not allowed, so why break the rules?

I've been dying to answer this question for a long time but usually I find those in my carriage are somewhat unapproachable and also listening to their earphones. But today's example simply looked like a nice guy. I checked to see if perhaps he had a puncture or broken chain, that had forced him to get the train, but there was nothing obvious. So I asked him "excuse me, why do you bring your bike on the train?".

He looked at me and smiled. "I'll share a story with you", he said.

"A while back I was just like you, paying over £300 a month for my season ticket. It kept going up year on year, despite usually being late, and I just had to pay it. Meanwhile, the train was always full of bikes at peak times that weren't supposed to be I am today. This used to really annoy me because, they also didn't have a ticket - just like me right now. There was no point in them having one, the bike wasn't allowed anyway, so at peak times they were always going to be invalid. If the guard came they could be thrown off the train, ticket or not, so why bother spending £300 a month?

"My season ticket was due for renewal and I popped to Tesco for a few bits on the way home and noticed they had a cheap mountain bike for about 70 quid. Rather less than my season ticket, maybe I should ride to work? But, in reality, it was too far to cycle and would take too long. I could ride half way though, that would reduce the ticket cost, but the bike wouldn't be allowed on the train.

"It didn't matter, my mind was made up. I popped home to get the car and bought a bike. The following week I didn't renew my season ticket. Instead I just cycled to the station, it was quicker than walking, and got on my usual train...with the bike. People gave me the odd glare but never said anything. I just wanted to see how far I could get before getting thrown never happened. I made it all the way into town and nobody questioned it."

"But why travel at peak times?" I asked.

"Well firstly, I travel when I need to get to/from work but I do try my best to get on the busier trains. I arrive late, so the guard doesn't have time to speak to me before we leave, and then the train is so packed he's got no hope of coming down to sort me out. Of course, as it's busy, they don't check tickets I never buy one".


"Well, not this year...nor most of last. I bought the bike around Easter time in 2012...and have never bought one since."

"So you've never been caught?"

"One or twice, but not much. I usually try to get near the front of the train, where it's busiest and the guards can't get through. They usually hide near the back where it's quieter and don't bother moving. In what, 18 months? I've been stopped maybe five times maximum. I usually make an excuse about the ticket machine not working and buy a ticket on the train...or on the platform when I get off.  I've had a couple of warnings, been fined once, but it's a lot cheaper than £300 a month."

"So you've never been thrown off?"

"Once, it was during the Olympics. They seemed to have extra staff around that time and they were checking tickets a lot. Thankfully the weather was nice, so I just got off like he said and cycled the rest of the journey to the office. I wasn't even late for work, most of the roads were closed to cars so it was an easy trip. The only problem was finding somewhere to park my bike...I usually just lock it up on the platform in Waterloo. It makes it a lot easier to get through the barriers if you don't have a bike, so I dump it when I get off the train. I don't ride it in town, I'd need a helmet and stuff for that,"

"If you're not going to ride it in town, why take the bike with you?"

"You missed the point...I don't have a ticket. The bike is there in case I get thrown off the train...I can cycle the rest of the journey".

"So how much have you saved?"

"Over 300 a month, less a fine or two and the cost of the bike...about five grand".

I think I'll buy a bike this weekend.

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Auto Trader Goes Digital

Tuesday 2nd July, 2013

Picture the scene.

You're sat with your mates in the local greasy spoon, eating a fry up after the big party the night before. One of them looks up...

"Shall we buy an RS Turbo?"


"A Ford Escort RS Turbo...Mk 4. I'm looking at this one in Auto Trader and reckon if we all threw in £50 that we could go and buy"

He then proceeds to throw his copy of Auto Trader across the table so everybody could take a look.

"But what about a Renault 5 GT Turbo?" suggests another, having turned over a few pages.

Little has changed with the younger generation, except for one thing - they're no longer looking through a magazine. Instead of sharing one copy of the magazine between a group of six, everybody now has a copy of the app on their phone - well, everybody except that one who insists on sticking with his BlackBerry as "the battery life is better".

Like BlackBerry, print sales of Auto Trader have been on a continual slide from a peak of 368.000 readers in January 2000 to just 27,000 readers in March 2013. In contrast, on-line editions have been rocketing skyward with the Auto Trader website achieving 11 million unique visitors a month and access from mobile devices roughly doubling on average year on year.

Needless to say, the time has come for Auto Trader to shut down those printing presses and go on-line only.

To mark the occasion, Auto Trader has created 250 special collector’s edition innovative front cover wrap magazines. The limited edition copies feature a digital screen, with video content that celebrate the brand’s 36 year heritage. These special edition magazines aren’t available to buy, but Auto Trader fans can win a copy via website and social media competitions.

The final standard issue of all the magazines - on shelves right now - has also been brought to life, instead using Blippar’s innovative image-recognition technology - allowing smartphone users to play video content, directly off the cover itself. The magazine also includes a special front cover pull out poster featuring the most iconic cars from the past five decades, as voted by users. The cover car, the Jaguar F-Type, received over 45,000 votes alone as Auto Trader fans chose it as the most iconic car.

So, if you want one last chance to experience your student life all over again...take a quick run to WH Smith...the one opposite the greasy spoon.

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